Nerd Jokes!

You gotta check this out!!!

"It said 'Insert Disk #3', but only 2 will fit!"

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THE BEST JOKE EVER!!!:

Endless Loop
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops.

They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he'd been washing his hair.

The instructions on the bottle said:

* Wet hair
* Apply shampoo
* Wait 2 minutes
* Rinse
* Repeat

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The box said Windows 98 or better

So I installed Linux

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Computers are universal devices; they speak a common language. Thus, you can connect any two computers, regardless of whether they were developed on different planets or not. ("Independence Day")

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'Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.'' - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989.

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"No one will need more than 637 kb of memory for a personal computer."
Bill Gates, early 1970's

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"Abbot & Costello in the 21st Century" wrote:

ABBOT: Super Duper Computer Store... Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.

ABBOT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou

ABBOT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou

ABBOT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOT: Yes

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, let's just
say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
need?

ABBOT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOT: The Word you get when you click the blue W.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2,3&4. Can I
watch them?

ABBOT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great, with what?

ABBOT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?

ABBOT: You click the blue 1

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOT: The blue 1.

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue w is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for windows!

ABBOT: No, just one, but it's the most popular word in the world

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left. It
pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of
Office.

COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping
you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

ABBOT: Money

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOT: Why not, they own it.

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Some crazy stuff