Chuck Norris - PRAVA ISTINA!

Replies: 35 Views: 14,179 Started: Mar 13, 2006, 9:27 PM Page 1 of 2
Chuck Norris - PRAVA ISTINA! · Mar 13, 2006, 9:27 PM
#20715
Nekoliko genijalnih cinjenica o Chucku Norrisu...

Suze Chucka Norrisa lijece rak. Steta sto on nikada nije zaplakao.

Chuck Norris ne spava. On ceka.

Chuck Norris ne ide u lov jer rijec 'lov' podrazumijeva mogucnostneuspjeha. Chuck Norris ide ubijati.

Chuck Norris je brojao do bezbroj - dvaput.

Chuck Norris je vec bio na Marsu; zato tamo nema znakova zivota.

Ako vidis Chucka Norrisa, on vidi tebe. Ako ne vidis Chucka Norrisa, mozda te samo nekoliko sekundi dijeli od smrti.

Chuck Norris trenutno tuzi NBC, tvrdeci da su Zakon i Red autorizirana imena njegovih nogu.

Jednom su proizveli Chuck Norris toalet papir, ali papir nije dopustao da itko sere po njemu.

Ahilej je navodno najveci borac i ratnik svih vremena, ali je umro zbog svoje slabe tocke - Ahilove pete. Ne postoji Chuck Norrisova peta.

Chuck Norris ima rijec kojom zove osobu koju strpa u komu; ta rijec je 'sretnik'.

Glavni izvoz Chucka Norrisa je bol.

Kad Chuck Norris ispunjava poreznu prijavu, posalje prazne formulare i sliku sebe u borbenoj pozi. Chuck Norris nikada nije morao platiti porez.

Chuck Norris je osvojio tri Grammya za zvuk koji proizvodi njegova noga u kontaktu s necijim licem.

Kako bi dokazao da nije tesko pobijediti rak, Chuck Norris je dvije godine pusio petnaest steka dnevno i dobio sedam vrsta raka - i pobijedio ih dizuci utege 15 minuta. Da te vidim sad, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris je narucio Big Mac u Burger Kingu, i dobio.

Neki slijepac je jednom prilikom stao Chucku Norrisu na nogu. Chuck je uzviknuo, 'Znas li ti tko sam ja!? Chuck Norris!'. Puko spominjanje njegova imena izlijecilo je covjekovu sljepocu. Nazalost, prva, zadnja i jedina stvar koju je ovaj ikada vidio bio je Chuckov fatalni polukruzni udarac nogom.

Chuck Norris spava s upaljenim svjetlom. Ne zato sto se b oji mraka, vec zato sto se mrak boji njega.

Chuck nema penis poput konja... konji imaju penis poput Chucka Norrisa

Parkirni znak sa slikom kolica ne znaci da je mjesto rezervirano za invalide. Zapravo je to znak upozorenja, da mjesto pripada Chucku Norrisu i da cete ubrzo postati invalid ukoliko tu parkirate.

Chuck Norris cesto donira krv Crvenom Krizu. Ali nikada svoju.

Kada je u zatvoru, Chuck Norris uvijek daje, nikada ne prima.

Chuck Norris je 1/8 Cherokee. To nema veze sa precima, on je pojeo jebenog Indijanca.

Chuck Norris je jednom polukruzno udario covjeka tako jako da je njegova noga probila brzinu svjetlosti, vratila se nazad kroz vrijeme i ubila Ameliu Earhart dok je preletala Tihi ocean.

Najbrzi put do covjekova srca je pomocu sake Chucka Norrisa.

Ne postoji teorija evolucije, samo lista bica kojima je Chuck Norris dopustio da zive.

Sta je prolazilo kroz misli svih zrtava Chucka Nor risa prije nego umru??? Njegova cipela!

Policija oznacava sve koji napadnu Chucka Norrisa sifrom 45-11...samoubojstvo!!

Chuck Norris je jedini covjek koji je pobjedio zid u partiji tenisa!

Kako Chuck Norris pravi maslac?? Polukruzno udari kravu i maslac izlazi ravno van!

Chuck Norris se orginalno pojavio u igri Street Fighter II, ali su ga beta testeri morali izvaditi jer bi pritiskanje bilo kojeg gumba rezultiralo njegovim izvodenjem polukruznog udarca. Kad su ga pitali o toj "gresci" rekao je :"Nema Greske!".

Uvodna scena iz filma "Spasavajuci vojnika Ryana" bazira se na igranju "Granicara"(izmedju dvije vatre) u drugom razredu Chucka Norrisa.

Ninja Kornjace su bazirane na istinitoj prici. Chuck Norris je jednom progutao cijelu kornjacu, i kad ju je posrao kornjaca je bila visoka 1.70m i znala je karate.

Brzi od metka... snazniji od lokomotive... u stanju preletjeti najvise z grade... da to su vjezbe za zagrijavanje Chucka Norrisa.

Chuc Norris vas moze udariti tako jako da vam izmjeni DNA strukturu. Desetljecima poslije vasi potomci ce povremeno saginjati glavu i govoriti: Sto je to bilo!

Chuck Norris se ne tusira, on se kupa u krvi.

Chuck Norris ne nosi sat. On odlučuje koje je vrijeme.
Post #2 · Mar 13, 2006, 10:07 PM
#20718
AJME kako jako :D strava!!!!!
Post #3 · Mar 13, 2006, 10:11 PM
#20719
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Post #5 · Mar 13, 2006, 10:35 PM
#20727
Baza su ove chuck norris facts :lol:
A ovaj tvoj video Nixone mi nece otvori. :eh:
Post #6 · Mar 13, 2006, 10:38 PM
#20729
Nece ni meni automatski pocet, moram stisnut plej.

Chuck Norris vidi OGame podforum i bez da ga admin stavi za moderatora.
Post #7 · Mar 13, 2006, 10:42 PM
#20731
Nisam tolko glup, al kad stisnem play odma mi prikaze "Replay this video" i "Share this video" botune, ako ih stisnem nista se ne dogada...

LoL
Chuck Norrisov rezultat u CaveShipu moze srusit GS stranicu.
Post #8 · Mar 13, 2006, 10:44 PM
#20733
Chuck Norris ne kopa nos, on istra?uje :cool:
Post #9 · Mar 13, 2006, 10:48 PM
#20735
Chuck Norris se ne smoci kad skoci u vodu. Voda se začaka.
Post #10 · Mar 13, 2006, 10:57 PM
#20737
Chuck Norris je ubio Slobu!

Chuck Norris ne moze da oboli od pticjeg gripa, cim neka ptica proba da mu prenese ona se zarazi CNBK virusom!

p.s. CNBK (Chuck Norris Birds Killer)
Post #11 · Mar 13, 2006, 11:16 PM
#20738
Kuga je bila veliki neprijatelj Chuck Norrisa. Zato vise ne postoji.
Post #12 · Mar 14, 2006, 12:44 AM
#20745
Zasto je Bruce Lee zapravo morao umrijeti? Jer je bio jedini koji je uspio poraziti Chuck Norrisa, a to je nedopustivo. (ili tako nesto) :D

P.S. Fore su mi prejake. ?:lol: ?:lol: ?:lol:
Post #13 · Mar 14, 2006, 1:05 AM
#20746
Al bolje su na engleskom.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris doesn?t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Post #14 · Mar 14, 2006, 7:23 PM
#20766
Ovo je strava ?:lol: ?:lol: ?:lol:

Highlights:

Chuck Norris je jednom polukruzno udario covjeka tako jako da je njegova noga probila brzinu svjetlosti, vratila se nazad kroz vrijeme i ubila Ameliu Earhart dok je preletala Tihi ocean.

:lol: ?:lol: ?:lol: ?:lol:

Najbrzi put do covjekova srca je pomocu sake Chucka Norrisa.

:lol: ?:lol: ?:lol: ?:lol:

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

:lol: ?:lol: ?:lol: ?:lol:
Post #15 · Mar 14, 2006, 7:53 PM
#20769
Chuck Norris se tolko razbesneo kad ga je Bruce Lee pobedio da je udario nogom od zemlju i potopio Atlantidu!
Post #16 · Mar 14, 2006, 10:26 PM
#20777
Supermenov tajni identitet nije Clark nego Noris ma bla :D

:skull:
Post #17 · Mar 15, 2006, 5:40 PM
#20797
Burke wrote:
Evo ga legenda!!!

Linked image


Burke :clap: :clap:
Post #18 · Mar 15, 2006, 10:56 PM
#20804
Klanjamo se njegovoj velicini! :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray:
Post #19 · Mar 15, 2006, 11:00 PM
#20805
User posted image
Post #20 · Mar 15, 2006, 11:17 PM
#20808
Linked image
Post #21 · Mar 15, 2006, 11:18 PM
#20809
Bruce Lee je zakon, samo mi?ići, nema sala (ne?to poput mene, ali malo slabiji) :cool:
Post #22 · Mar 15, 2006, 11:32 PM
#20811
Jeste, upravu si, za razliku od njega Chuck Norris je imao malih problema sa kilazom! Evo kako je izgledao pre nego sto je koristio total gym 2000 i reduce fat fast!

Linked image

:D
Post #23 · Mar 16, 2006, 9:09 AM
#20816
Moze se i narucit majica
User posted image
User posted image
Post #24 · Apr 3, 2006, 12:28 PM
#21486
Evo i naj novija: When Chuck Norris is around, Protoss buildings can fly as well ?:lol:
Izdvojio sam samo naj smjesnije. Jebiga trebao sam prepisat;

Due to popular demand,the team has decided to add the hybrids as a new race to Project Revolution. After considering for some time what kind of creature combine purity of the essence and purity of form, we came into conclusion that there is only one real answer: Chuck Norris; who also adds his own purity of roundhouse kick.

User posted image

Here is spinner of Chuck Norris. It's isn't animated becouse Chuck Norris moves to fast for the human eye. It's not spinning because none has seen his back. Ever.

Here are the facts about new Chuck Norris race:

Chuck Norris doesant mine mineral patches, he just drags whole compound home.

The power of Xel'Naga on Shakuras is the voice recording of Chuck Norris.

Kerrigan is Queen Bitch of universe, universe is queen bitch of Chuck Norris.

You can't upgrade Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris upgrades you.

Spider mines run away from Chuck Norris.

Dark Templar energies can kill cerebrate, Chuck Norris makes cerebrates commit suicide.

Chuck Norris don't regenerate over time, he never gets hurt.

Any attack on Chuck Norris is considered 'rush'.

Chuck Norris has only one 'annoyed' sound. However, no one has ever lived to report what it is.

You can't fool Chuck Norris; by then you are already dead.

Chuck Norris knows zergling.By name. All of them.

Chuck Norris does not appear in diplomacy menu. Chuck Norris need no one.

Chuck Norris is perfectly balanced. He dares you to say otherwise.
Post #25 · Apr 3, 2006, 1:22 PM
#21494
HAHAHA ROFL ROFL :lol: :lol:

Chuck goes to Starcraft!
Post #26 · Apr 25, 2006, 1:37 PM
#22360
Najnovija:
Kada Chuck Norris radi sklekove on ne di?e sebe nego gura planetu dolje.
Post #27 · Apr 25, 2006, 8:27 PM
#22371
If u ever see Chuck Norris having sex with a man, that's not because he is gay. That's because he ran out of women.
Post #28 · May 4, 2006, 11:19 PM
#22629
Ovu jos nisam vidio:

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground! :D
Post #29 · May 4, 2006, 11:25 PM
#22630
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Post #30 · May 5, 2006, 7:19 AM
#22631
:thumbsup: :clap:

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